Excerpt from "A headshaking work of staggering banality"

He is a couple inches over six feet, fairly skinny, looks like a cross between Jemaine Clement and a young Harrison Ford who's been tied up inside a burlap sack, thrown in the trunk of a Cadillac that is then lit on fire and rolled down a mountainside highway and allowed to roll off the shoulder, overturning and bursting into flames, plummeting hundreds of feet before exploding as it crashes onto the ground of the valley below. Imagine that scenario exactly as described, and you will know exactly what he looks like.