Sunday Flood excerpt

”Oh dear, oh dear, what about Sunday Flood oh my god please tell us about Sunday Flood,” you demand? You don’t know what you’re bringing down upon yourselves, you ridiculously retarded readers you. Jesus fucking Christ, you’re all blubbering pussies. Oh man, Sunday Flood. There are bands, and then there are bands. Then there’s Sunday Flood. It’s like if several bands formed a band. By which I mean not that there’s simply one larger band made of the members of several different bands. Rather, each band is a single indivisible band member. Actually, no, scratch that, sorry. It’s like, imagine this, okay? A band. Start with that. Ok. A band. Yes. A band forms a band. This band formed from the band is not the same as the original band, nor is it a new band which happens to have the exact same lineup as the original band. It may help to think in terms of set theory, unless you’ve actually taken a class in set theory, in which case this will make no sense whatsoever. But set theory, ironically enough, studies the properties of “sets”. A set is a collection of elements. You could consider a band to be a set, for example, in that it is made up of four individual band members, say. The set is the band, and the elements of the set are the individual band members. Perhaps to be more accurate and robust, we could also include the instruments, songs, and whatever else we want as elements of the set, but for our present purposes we can restrict ourselves merely to the band members themselves, without loss of generality. Now, in attempts to make set theory mathematically consistent, set theorists have come up with some wacky shit. Like the null or empty set, which is a set that contains no elements. There are sets in which the set itself is an element. What the hell? You could have a set whose elements are other sets. This is not the same thing as saying that the set contains as elements just the elements of those subsets. God no. Say I have a set, which I call S. Its elements are also sets. Suppose S has three elements: A, B, and C. The element A is itself a set, say of the numbers 1 and 4. The element B is also a set, containing the numbers 2 and 3. The element C is just a number: 5. This hideous abomination that we call S is not the same thing as the set S’ which contains five elements: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. Oh good heavens no. S has 3 elements, S’ has 5 elements. Now shut the fuck up already and quit bugging me about sets. I’ve just educated you hardcore, hardcore enough to understand the simultaneously set theoretic and explosively erotic genius that is Sunday Flood. Sunday Flood is mathematical in nature. It is a band S which is comprised of a band A. S is Sunday Flood, and A is Sunday Flood. Yet S is not A. There you go. The most depraved question you could now ask is, “What do they sound like?” You just don’t get it. I’ve spent a long paragraph explaining Sunday Flood. They are mathematical. They are set theoretic. “Sound”?! What is this, Sesame Street?! Well, if you must know, they sound like Alkaline Trio meets The Get Up Kids. They use instruments in the correct manner, plugged in and everything. They know the rudimentary fundamentals of musical theory and song structure. They also really, really suck. Plus, the name they chose for their band is pretty stupid.