More uh

All right, now to get his foot off the pedal. Hm, it’s really heavy. I can’t lift the foot off the pedal. Maybe I can just slide it off to the side. Huh. That’s not working either. What the…? OH. DEAR. LORD. This was no accident. It wasn’t just some guy out for a drive with tons of explosives in his back seat, who happened to keel over. No, it’s something much less plausible yet so much more dramatically convenient. This was intentional, a suicide run! He’s got lead shoes on, I tells ya. And just to be super diabolical, he crazy glued the bottom of this shoe to the pedals. What’s this? Ha ha, he’s even locked the steering wheel in place with some sort of insidiously crafted device. I don’t know what it is or even what it looks like or how it works, because I don’t know shit about how anything works, but god damn it that’s amazing what he’s done here. See that? The [insert meaningful term here] is hooked up to the [insert something else here that makes sense to be hooked up to the first thing], totally immobilizing the steering wheel. And he’s done all that with the use of just a plain old ordinary [something plain and ordinary that could be used to connect the first and second things]. It’s a jaw droppingly obvious application of the principle of [I wish I knew what term would fit right here, oh how I wish I knew -- I am truly an awful, just an awful writer]. Oh, you evil genius, you. I would salute you in your extreme devotion to your craft if it were not solely devoted to the wanton destruction of others.